This is what my depression looks like

 It's Friday, I havent showered since Monday. I just showered though.

Actually, I took a bath on Wednesday, but I didn't touch my body, because its disgusting.

I had one meal yesterday.

I cried on the hallway floor, Thursday evening, to my 12 year old son because I feel like I don't make an impact on anyones lives anymore. 

I cried because I needed to cry.

I avoid mirrors.

I want to lay in bed all day.

I don't want to talk to anyone but my son.

I just don't take care of myself and want to do everything for everyone else. 

Remember how I said I had one meal the other day, well, I only did that because I'm on semaglutide because I want to not be a whale (thanks body dysmorphia), I didn't eat because I didn't have an appetite. 

Depression makes me eat, makes me binge eat really bad. 

I remember one day, this was my dinner, after an emotional day:
Burger King Whopper w/ extra mayo, no onion. Large onion ring.
Large McDonald's Fry & Coke.
Large M&M Blizzard from DQ.
THAT WAS IN ONE SITTING.
I felt so full, everything felt full, until it didnt. And then I was disgusted with myself, I felt guilt, sadness, pain from overeating.

Binge eating just doesn't look like that, it also looks like a bag of chips,  M&Ms, bowl of cereal, more chips, toast, and sour patch kids. in one sitting.

GLP-1 is the only thing stopping me from binge eating.

This is all very random and I needed to get it out somewhere, before I cry again.