Under Pressure.

 It never fails, the moment I open my mouth and say things like:

"I'm going to workout before work"
"I'm going to take 2-3 walks a day"
"I'm doing to have many healthy meals so I don't binge eat at night"

I feel the pressure of putting it out in the world and I avoid it at all costs.

If I mention something to Walter to my mom about a plan or something I really want to do, I cave, feel this weird pressure - or something like if I don't live up to this small task, that I will let everyone down and I give up so then I never have the opportunity to let people down, I end up letting myself down.

It really is the weirdest thing.

I wish my life wasn't like this, I have so many plans and so many things I want to do but I feel this overwhelmingly amount of pressure, from myself - not really from anyone else, it's all me.